it’s been a month and 8 days since me and my ex broke up. yeah, it hasn’t been long but to me? it feels like centuries. i’m still stalking his playstation account since it’s the only thing i have access to (i blocked him everywhere), it doesn’t feel enough. everything feels so unfair. the stupid trend on tiktok made me realise that the door back to that part of my life is closed with no door handle. it’s really over. every bridge got burned when i left him and it feels surreal thinking that.. but genuinely it’s what i had to do. was i perfect? definitely not. but the casual disrespect and genuine disregard for me toward the end was actually awful. that’s the only thing i can look back at and make me not go back on what i’ve done. i miss everything, a piece of my heart feels like it’s missing and i feel empty more often then not. being with someone for almost 5 years even with (small) breaks since we were well literally children (17) feels awful.