Is it a crazy thing to say that I wish I didn't need to exist? I wish I didn't need to eat. I wish I didn't need to bathe. I wish I didn't need love or a bed or clothes or water or anything. Everyone I know, knows that I'm selfless and not in the way to feel better about myself but in the way that I don't think I deserve any good thing that comes my way. I feel like in the eyes of the people I know, I'm just here to help others, like they only see me as someone they can use because they know I will. I don't want to be used for my brain or my strength or my ability to be patient and give back to people. I want to not exist. But I don't want to die. not because I don't want the freedom but because of what it would do to the people I know. I feel I only live for other people and not myself. I feel like I need to be perfect but who am I even perfect for? my partner? my parents? Myself? surely not so why do I need to exist? I don't know if any of that made sense but thanks for reading