My whole life feels like a reality TV show about how much torturos stuff you can do to a person. 1st, i got a horrible illness that yet doesn't have a cure that works for me at TWO YEARS OLD and it has ruined my whole life. It makes me so sensitive to noise that even the sound of me breathing feels like torture. Same with smell, which makes me unable to breathe well. I can't wear the clothes i want or i'll be in unimaginable pain for hours. From the ages 2 all the way to 12, i was dragged from medical facility to medical facility and now if i get reminded of it too much i get flashbacks. On top of that i'm a lesbian and my father is homophobic. And i want to me a man so bad that i would give everything to have been born a guy. My best friend of 7 years who was like my platonic soulmate doesn't have much contact with me anymore. It all sucks, it's all horrible. I know it's sinful, but sometimes i ask myself if g0-d hates me.