I'm letting everyone down in my life its just doctor after doctor appointment after appoint but pills aren't gonna fucking help what gonna help what's gonna change things if someone actually gave a fuck. someone who will spam my phone because I went away for a minute. I want to feel love like real love not the kind that you don't hear from them I days. I want them to pick up up and carry you out in a rainy day just to dance in the rain with you because they know you love dancing in the rain because they realise the little things. I need someone to realise the little things. I need someone to ask if I'm ok and check on me. is it so hard to ask for someone who cares. someone who finally gives a fuck pills don't save you people do and I need those people because recently I lost all of them. the people I was closest to the people I cared so deeply about. and now ill never see them again. never see there smile or feel there warmth. there gone and I cant do anything but sit here and hope.