Idk man. My life has constantly been a cycle of feeling like nobody actually cares. Every day I wake up and there's something new that just adds to all of it. I'm tired. I'm tired of the constant ups and downs. Tired of feeling like nobody would care if I disappeared one day. Tired of waking up and immediately just feeling the weight of everything all at once. These last few months have been some of the hardest I've experienced in a while it seems. I'm trying so hard to convince myself that it'll all turn out okay but deep down it feels like I'm just telling myself what I want to hear. I've spiraled back down to the point again where I'm always asking myself if it's even worth it anymore. I hate myself for it. The same dark pit I fought for years to escape. I thought I finally made it to the top. Stupid of me to even believe it for a second. I'm back to square one and I don't have the motivation to fight again. I'm so tired man. I don't know how much longer I can keep this mask up.