I'm sad every day, and I've driven most of the people in my life away. I'm pretty sure people are plotting to kill me. I've finally given up on the idea that I can kill myself. People would rather make me suffer. People won't even give me the grace to tell me what they're mad about, or just put it behind us. I live within my personal hell, and no one cares. I feel like I don't have full scope as to what I'm feeling bad about, I'm too frightened to address it, and don't know where to even start. I'm afraid to talk to make plans with old friends, I'm afraid to be around anyone I ever knew, and my family is too ashamed of me to understand what I'm going through, or to believe in me. My boyfriend is the only person I know I can trust with my life, but he seems like he's pretty sick of me too. I feel completely alone, and any attempt at feeling different is just an affirmation that I've completely ruined my life by being sad about my shitty life.