I can’t live my life anymore. There’s not one second of my days where I don’t think about killing myself. I’m so jealous of everything and everyone. I’m worthless. I’m undesirable. I’m mean and I should never speak again. I have so much rage and resentment in me. I don’t even know how it’s possible. No matter what time it is, I’m never happy. I’ve never felt complete. I’m a mess. Why can’t just God answer me. I’m talking to this guy now and he doesn’t want me. We’ve been talking for MONTHS. What am I missing. All I can think about is how he called his ex his boyfriend but not me. Am I not enough? Does he miss him? Am I just a replacement for the time being. Does he think everything was better with him? They were so close. I can’t even compete. Don’t even get me started on sex. That’s the worst part. I need to die. I’ll never be enough for anyone. I mean at the same time I can’t blame him. I’m repulsive. I don’t blam him for wanting a real man.