they say comparison is the thief of joy, and i'm finding that to be more and more true today. i can't seem to shake off this feeling of despair and sadness. i fucked up. i made a mistake that's forcing me to take a hard look at my life and now, well, i'm realizing how far behind i'm falling compared to my friends and loved ones. i'm 35 years old. i'm still single as can be. i've gained like 30 pounds in the last couple years. i'm hemorrhaging money. i'm not motivated at work even though i'm good at what i do. i can't help but feel like a disappointment to my parents. my closest friends are all in committed relationships. i feel so alone. the people i coached are surpassing my career. i have stints of success and happiness only to fuck up my routine and fall back into my cycle of laziness and apathy. i don't know why i'm like this. i don't know what i need to do. i don't drink. i don't smoke. i've tried getting into the habit of getting active and i regularly hang out with friends. but.