well i dont even know where i could possibly talk about that but i dont want to make anyone uncomfortable so MASSIVE TW but like i wish i had someone to talk to and relate about all the disgusting and gross fantasizes i used to have, how it still following me today because i vent to the bad persons, and i cant even blame them for all the hate, the disgust in their eyes, because thats what it is, and im a monster, and i know i have traumas that can explain why i am like that rn, but i just cant forgive myself + i have no one to talk to anyway and i'll never be talking about it again with someone that cant relate even tho i can totally forgive when its someone else, if you know about all the controversies there were about the creator of house of puso, like, im the same age than him, and relate so much, and genuinely, i dont blame him or anything, i even support and really really like his content but when its about me i cant help but hate on myself, im slowly becoming like puso i fear