I am lost, I genuinely don't know my purpose. I don't know if it's just a shitty month, or maybe this month got me realizing everything. It's my application season for freshmen, and everything is just going down, from not knowing what program I should take for college to not believing that I'll be able to pass the entrance exams, to losing people I never really had. I'm turning 18 in 2 weeks this is when I realized I truly had no one. I never had a real friend, and I cannot make real deep connections with anyone. I think that's the thing I'm really longing for. I sometimes believe that if this isn't for me, then I hope I stop yearning for it. My preparation for one of my entrance exams for college isn't going well. A lot of people keep telling me that I'll pass and that I can do it. I wish to believe the way they believe in me. I wish that I'll be able to see how they see me. Honestly, who am I without my academics? my grades?