I love my friends so much but it always dawns on me when im in an episode how im none of their first choice and they only want to hang out with me when they can't hang out with others. I want someone I can talk to 24/7 but im always the one who texts first. none of my friends make a conscious effort to reach out to me so I can spend ages inside and lonely without them giving a fuck. this includes my irl friends and online friends which is so fun yea