There is no reason for me to be here. Really, there is no reason for me to keep going. I’m a horrible older brother and a horrible peer. I can sure as hell act like people like me, and that my sisters all need me. But in the end I’m not good enough for them. I’m not the person they should have to protect them, or even to be around them. With my mental on such a steep decline, all I’d end up doing from here on is being a horrible influence. I might hurt someone if I don’t kill myself before that. I have no future. What brings me joy isn’t “profitable” or “knowledgeable.” I cannot live a life where I have to yet again give up something that gives me joy. I’m always giving to people, but nobody gives back to me. I just want to be happy too. I just want someone to give me the same love I try to give out. Really, I'm running on dry here. I might kill myself or damn near maul myself by the time I’m 18. I know I’m too pussy to actually do that, but 18 isn’t that far away anymore.