It just sucks. When you look at other people lives it sucks to not want that to be your life. But again not everything is how it seems. I try to not to be jealous. Because I was severely jealous of individuals lives in high school and it took me so long to get from there to a place where I wasn’t insecure and severely jealous all the time. And when I finally got out of that headspace of thinking I was ugly and not worthy. And a couple years I finally got to the headspace of where I was gonna get my life together and really put effort into myself. It’s like I get gobsmacked and I’m back to square one. It’s sad. I’m really trying not get back to that place. Because I was so depressed and almost thought about ended it. But I got better. But I’m pushing through. Hopefully I’ll feel better by the end of summer. Normally my mood stabilizes and gets better. It’s just something about the heat that gets me in my feels.