I had a friend but our relationship got corrupted by judgment and shaming and I don't know how to cope. I keep feeling emotional pain from it because all of the things I was angry about him doing I also did and now I don't know who's right but I fucking hate this. I think he may have emotionally neglected me, but I might've to him, and I just don't know. Nothing makes sense. It's a paradox now. Either I acknowledge my feelings of being violated are valid and he did do that but then somehow accept that maybe i violated him OR I don't validate my feelings and recognize that what I did was probably not thar bad even though it feels bad :( I don't know how to deal with this because I was so angry at him for so long. I fucking hate myself. I don't know where to go from here or how to move past this and things have been so stressful and I feel like my life is empty and the samey now so I can't focus on what I need to and spend too lonf focusinf on this and I just can't I don't know what todo