To others, my life seems perfect I have good grades, go to a grammar school and have friends and family but behind this I always feel left out or lonely in large crowds. I feel like whenever there's a situation in the house people are quick to blame me and never listen to my explanation. Even with friends, I have many like countless but I feel alone and never have a friend where I can share everything with. I need to be careful what I say in case I make a mistake or make them feel weird of me. I distance myself away from people, leave the gc and end up even more lonely. recently the gc ice skating w/o me and seeing their tts make me feel really upset, they never even asked me separately if i wanted to go. This could be consequences of my actions but even with a guy I like I see every small interaction as romantic because the lack of love I've experienced in return. Now its summer I only go out alone to movies, city centre or just rot in bed. I know there' are solutions but I'm scared.