i haven’t brushed my teeth in years,horrible decay..severe toothache today,I’m going to a dental hospital later today but I’m so embarrassed,like I can’t look at myself. I wanna smile again but I’m in tears blaming myself

i wish i didnt have such a weird mental health i push others away yet crave the affection its confusing in a way but honestly? i think im just weird..

Ive been dealing with being a germaphobe, like it gets to the point where I just absolutely can’t grab anything dirty and not try to clean it or use excessive hand sanitizer. It started a 1 year ago but my mom thinks it was for Covid when it just started out of nowhere. She keeps telling me to get over it and it isn’t normal, im aware it isn’t and she doesn’t help with it and makes me stress over it more. I genuinely can’t talk to her about trying to understand why I excessively wash my hands, clean everything, and despise it when people touch my things with their hands being dirty. Maybe it’s just me but I really don’t know. I’m trying to understand it and maybe work through so just wanted to get my thoughts out.