I grew up sitting at home my whole early childhood. Then when I was 13 I met a girl and she influenced the rest of my life for 3 years. It wasn't her that broke me, I was already living a lonely, depressing and completely void of meaning life, but her manipulation and lies fucked me up even more. Then she left, and with it, all my hopes and dreams. Truth be told, I never believed in myself eitherway, and I've been nothing but a day away from leaving all of this behind. I hate this world, and out of spite I hate myself, but what hurts me more than the hate I feel for this world, is the love I feel for a world that never existed. A world where I could have been me, could have had childhood friends, could have had a family intact and a school life without fear. I hate being alive because it reminds me of what could have been if the world wasn't unfair. I wish I was never born.