Life has been so miserable that I find myself staring into the void more and more often. Sigh... I'm still young. I still have so many things I want to do with my life. I used to be passionate about everything. I was talented. I was always happy and full of joy. What happened? I'm constantly sad for no reason. I keep having mood swings that I can't explain. I used to be so motivated, so where did it all go? I don't know. I don't even know who I am anymore. I feel like I'm dead, just trying to keep living. My family doesn't care about mental health. They even mock people who die because of depression—fucking psychos. They don't know what it feels like, and maybe they won't until they realize their own child is slowly getting worse. And my boyfriend? I'm really thankful to have him. But I'm too sad for someone who's in love. I feel so miserable. I'm always sad. Sometimes I wonder if I'm becoming exhausting to the people around me. I don't know. ...I really want to be dead.