I was groomed abused and assaulted but never raped. But everything that happened to me really just feel like my soul and mind were raped instead. I still have general pelvic pain and tenseness, and cramping or stabbing pains during arousal, and i get way too aroused way too easily. i am a virgin and will never actually have sex, at least not PIV. i am afraid of intimacy. i hate myself for feeling so traumatized when i was never raped and several of my friends have been and they seem to be handling life and staying positive better than i am. ik we all have different thresholds...mine is very low. kill me. id never kill myself but i want peace.
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