i just need to lock in i just need to lock in i dont know how but i need to lock in the longer i dont the worse it gets but im up against my own brain and stomach and you need money to get checked to get meds and theres no guarantee theyll get it right the first time so youll have to pay for the doctor and the tests and travel over and over until they can give you the right ones but then the meds might have side effects so youll need to do different trials until you find the right one. i already knew a long time ago i needed to lock in and i kept trying but until now years later im still stuck at home and i cant sleep or eat right its past midnight and im still trying to finish my food becaus i knoe i need to eat and my stomach hurts but my stomach hurts and i keep needing to chug water to get the food down and wait for a while. im worried about our files our other things and external things but theres nothing i can do to help myself get stability how can you earn if too sick to work