Rant #9066

i feel like a hypocrite i always get jealous of other people even those who are close to me, having to mask all the time makes me feel fake, i have never felt genuine happiness for others i always find myself asking the same question again and again "why not me?" im so full of hatred and i hate it, i don't like seeing people being on the same level as me i do hate myself for it sometimes, but i also think im right everything pisses me off and makes me feel disgusted