I feel useless, and I can't even express myself fine., I'm about to graduate HS and I can't get out of Letharg., I have the most important exams that can get me more opportunities in 12 days or smt, and the only thing I can do is daydream, I hate being around my family, I can't do the shit have to do to get better because of a non sense, I don't know why I don't feel bad for scrolling, I'm constantly trying to get better, to stop masturbating, to stop smoking, to stop exposing myself for feeling a bit of freedom, to stop being in danger but now, I'm hopeless, because it hurts me more doing the things to get better than diving deeper on All this shit, the worst thing is that no one can know what is happening to me, I can't tell anyone because my physical health is in real danger, I can't even have the enough mindfulness to answer my family sometimes, to be social with friends, to leave my house for a while, because I can't put attention, suicide is not an option.