i’m disabled by my mental disorders. i’m not able to work, and consequently i might never be able to live alone. i live with my family and they all pay lip service to wanting me to be happy but they make my life miserable. my mom especially, who is basically my handler. she’ll say she’ll help me with things when i ask, but if i don’t constantly remind her she won’t actually bother. she knows i’m incredibly anxious about our financial situation, and has said she won’t mention it before, but still complains about it in front of me. i want to eat healthier but i’m scared of asking her to buy too many things and causing her to go on another rant about how she never has money for herself. the worst part is whenever i try to talk about how she makes me feel she acts like she’s the victim, she’ll keep bringing it up months or years down the line to force me to apologize. more than absolutely anything in the world i just wish i was well enough to survive on my own.