everything sucks. life genuinely sucks right now. I cant do anything but stick it out and i'm trying. mom is sick and I miss her every day. but somedays are just harder. the longing just hits hard out of nowhere suddenly. I had enough idea on how to better support my father when I cant even handle my life. I have zero motivation to do any real work. I'm in a deep slump and I have no idea how to get out of it. it's been three years since I felt happiness wholly, completely. I just want to be sat peace and right now that seems like the farthest thing. there are so many milestones my mom has missed in my lifetime and I really do not want her other miss more. so many things I wanna ask her, so many things I wanna do with her and so many more things I want to hear from her. my life's moving at such a rapid rate and it feels like i'm moving now without my mother and the feeling is the worst. all I want is my mother. I'm already starting to forget stuff about her and that's really scary.