i just want to tell all you guys, things get better. i vented on here yesterday, feeling like i was at my lowest point in years. i felt afraid to live, because i was scared to face the painful things that were unavoidable. even though my throat is still sore from crying, i feel okayish now. i feel very dissociated, but i don't feel sick to my stomach with anxiety. shit happens, it will feel like you're about to die, but maybe, just maybe, it gets better. people choose to live this realm, but that has too many unknown factors. i prefer the uncertainty of real life than the certainty of death. please, live for the unpredictable chaos that is life. things can change in a heartbeat. also, there's probably a movie, show or game that you like that will be released soon. so... live for that too. signing off.