what the fuck is genuinely wrong with me, im not even sure how to explain it but every time after i shower i feel clean right? but my brain makes me avoid “dirty” and “contaminated” areas like the couch i sat on when i havent showered yet and was feeling like literally dirty, and every time i touch something dirty when im clean i have to wash my hands or splash water on the area of my body or clothes that touched the dirty, ive done research and i think i have ocd but its weird saying or thinking i do because i dont want to be like those people who self diagnose themselves like with severe ocd or autism. and i hate opening up to my family about it, because i seem weird to them for changing my bedsheets everytime i shower and wash my hair which is like one or two times a week, i know its wasteful but i hate feeling gross, but them for some fucking reason, if im dirty for a couple of days and too lazy to shower after that i dont care and wear the same clothes or sit in contaminated areas