i may always seem happy, but deep down i see things that are killing my vibe. i want a BEST friend who can actually talk to me and i can talk to them all the time, who can ACTUALLY answer my messages, someone who actually wants to do things i want to do, but i cant seem to find the one because everyones already got their own best friend. Why is it so hard for me to find that? Why cant my friends act like that towards me too? The stuff I do for them, they don't that to me. I hide my jealousy too well, seeing everyone around me always having that one person they get to talk to everyday and not get ignored. seeing all my childhood friends moving on, my parents getting busier every day, all i got is just music and rotting playing games, watching tiktok or yt and just overthink. ive got friends but not a best friend. why are others just so much luckier than me, and what have I done to deserve this?