I don't want to remember being friends with my abuser and the things we did. Staying up until sunrise on call, making a hot dog at 12 am? Why is that something I hold onto so dearly? When we walked on those weird cursed train tracks and explored the abandoned house up the hill right beside them? When we would go to that big nature park and swim in the little pools there? When I played that game until sunrise all summer? Slept all day? Hung out with him every day? I hate you so so much. I wish I never trusted you and called you my friend. I could've done all those things myself and look back and feel at least a little bit better about that time. You ruined my fucking life and if you think I'm just going to act like your my friend again after mentally abusing and manipulating me and guilt tripping me those yrs ago when you didn't get your way, you're an absolute fucking idiot. I wish you were telling the truth when you manipulated me into believing you would end it. Fuck you asshole.