Everything is just so hard. No matter what I do I can't do it right. I procrastinate myself into hell and I almost never leave my room. I barely ever go outside at all. I can't remember the last time I was in my own backyard. I spend all my time online because it's the only way I can talk to people. I don't go to work, I don't go to school, I've always hated sports so I'm just inside all day every day. I'm more lonely than I've ever been and yet I can't even talk to a cashier. I'm scared of people; the last time I tried to order food on my own I cried. I want human connection so badly but I refuse to put myself out there. I just want to feel loved and close to someone. I have problems on top of problems but if I could fix my social life it wouldn't matter to me nearly as much.