I always wonder if i died right now, how long would it take for people to notice? who would care? why would anyone care? would i have regretted it the next morning? i feel bad for my friends and family sometimes because im such a mess and so difficult to deal with. Just even the slightest change in tone or anything sets me off into a spiral. I hate everyone and everything. Everyone pisses me off all the time and i just want to be alone all day. i hate people contacting me but at the same time i'm so lonely. I wish i had someone to talk to about it but i feel like i'm being a burden on them no matter what they say.
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