I fell so deeply for him all those months ago and he treats me so well when he wants to. I couldn’t be without him and now after all this shit I’ve been through when Im supposed to have been recovering it all rips me back to the start. The same deep hole where I need a hand to hold and I’m afraid they will let go. They will let go and leave me. After almost getting murked and having to beg him to save me. After the guilt trip and manipulation I’m still put through I held on so tight but it’s gotten to a point where I was about to let go of my own life. I can’t keep doing this. I tried I did. I broke up with him yesterday and I’m so scared he is actually gonna commit cause of it but I can’t keep suffering. He just keeps begging for me back finding any loophole he can. And then gets aggressive when I stand firm. I’m nobody without him. I have nobody but him and his friends. “I’ve done horrible things for you” In situations you caused. I’m about to give in but it will kill me if I do