i feel like i hurt the people i love too much. i get too comfy with them, then i get careless and remove all that progress until theres nothing left. i hurt my gf twice in a row, and i just cant believe myself that im so amazing at sabatoging my happiness. she deserves the best life possible, and it feels like i cant give that. instead it feels like i keep on shooting her down, hurting her, beating her down unintentionally but so efficiently that it looks like im doing it on purpose. that fucking sucks man. that sucks when ur so happy with a person then suddenly by ur own stupid and careless actions u make her feel like shit again. its ur fault, ur the reason why shes so hurt. im the reason why shes so hurt, and it pains me that i have caused and am causing so much pain to this one person who doesnt deserve it at all. she deserves everything, and i hurt her. what a fucked up personality ive been given that i sabotage the relationships that mean the most to me. i just wanna this to stop