it's so hard having friends, ill feel lonely no matter what. i used to love my best friend so much, i still do, but it doesn't seem like she even cares about me anymore. im never anyones first choice and its so fucking awful. and the worst part is, i don't even know if she actually doesnt care about me anymore or if its just my stupid brain!! i hate adhd, rsd is the worst thing ever. i just wish she'd bother to ask me if i wanted to call her, like she does with the others. im sick of being the one asking everyone if they want to do something, why cant someone ask ME for once???? im so tired. im slightly better now but i was genuinely at my worst, did my friend send me a text to ask if i was okay? no. she didn't send me a text. at all. she didnt even leave me on read, she left me on DELIVERED!!! fucking delivered????? cant even be bothered to OPEN the chat??? thanks. i feel cared for. once she finally leaves i wont bother finding another friend. its too exhausting.