I feel really lonely I think. I’m sorry. Everything is going so well and I can’t appreciate it. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I think I want someone to be worried about me, but I feel like if that happened i’d still feel nothing. i don’t think I could even cry in front of someone. Or even tell them what i’m feeling. I just want to be loved and not feel so much weight with it. I tried to kill myself i think. It was a pathetic attempt. I don’t think anything was even going through my head. I just wanted to do something severe, to either feel something or to stop feeling entirely. I felt so weak. I just gave up and cut my forearm. I hit a vein. There was so much blood and I keep flipping between thinking that’s concerning and believing the damage is never enough if I keep waking up. I just feel so alone in my pain. Not even by circumstance, but by choice. Something is inherently wrong with me that I either drive people away or block them out. I’m just so tired of thinking about this.