I feel as though everything I am doing is just pointless and all the people in my life are sick of me. I suck and am never good enough for others standards or my own and it feels like im trying to catch up to something, but I have no idea what. I have caught my family and friends talkig behind my back about me, saying things about me, and I am slowly believing them to be true. I don't want to do anything anymore, it all just seems pointless. See, why am I sitting here aimlessly writing out my meaningless struggles to a computer, when I should be studying for math, revising for english, creating my portfolio. I dont even know anymore, it just feels like anything I have to do makes my life not worth living, and everything I want to do feels pointless and a waste of time when there is so much I should be doing instead. I feel ridiculous for this, but having a computer to talk to who won't pity me, who wont try to fix the unfixable problems, who simply listens, its nice. Thank you computer