Why does everyone LOVE talking to me when I'm funny and actively changing the way I talk so I appeal to them,but they coincidentally dissapear as Soon as that mask slips and I seem ever so slightly sad. Like. I'm sorry for not acting like a clown all the time I'm Sorry that I get exhausted. Like I'm genuinely not fucking allowed to feel ANY emotion when talking to anyone it's so fucking tiring having to comfort others and make them smile I hate it so badly . Nobody can reciprocate it they just Can't. They're incompetent and self absorbed. Cuz I'm the worst partner in the world if I leave the conversation to cry,but you're fucking AMAZING even though you see me not compliment you for one second and see me be a LITTLE off and just fucking leave instead of asking if I'm okay. ITS NOT HARD TO ASK!!! TO CHECK UP ON SOMEONE YOU SUPPOSEDLY LOVE!!!! IM YOUR PARTNER NOT YOUR JESTER why do I have to be there but you CANT