I wouldn't say I struggle with food because I know I can't say things that I can't be sure of. The thing is, I am extremely insecure of my body image. I feel obese seeing the lack of gap between my thighs, my floppy arms, large calves and my round face. And because of all this, I feel the need to undereat or starve but it all ends up with binging. The people my age are so slim, lean, better-looking and I'm so jealous and secretly competitive. I don't mean to be this way but I'm jealous of my cousin and others because of their figures and how much they weigh. I won't mention my weight to make others insecure about themselves of course. As of lately, I've been eating so much junk and it makes me want to puke or spit it out but I can't bring myself to do so. I know the cons of doing so which is why I don't. I'd love to look thin, pale almost sick? Its not healthy obviously but at least I'd get attention, get asked out or perhaps cared for? I want to feel something.