I don't think most people realize how hard it is to go day-to-day knowing that if I fall, nobody's coming to pick me up. That, whatever I do is always going to need the most effort from me, and that I'm not anyone's priority. It's pretty pathetic, I walk by parks and feel jealous, Christmas I see others celebrating with their families, decorations, memories... And I don't even know what that is. I have friends, amazing ones, but it's... I don't know, there's a difference, kind of a hole that makes me feel empty, like I'm still the most alone person in the room anyway. I know others have problems with their families, some don't have them at all... But I'm just not that strong. People tell me I did amazing things, I learned to stand up for myself and others, I did so much, but still... I'm always going to have my biggest advocate, pick myself up, complain to the void. Maybe it's not uncommon, but I think it's cruel