I miss someone from a long term romance many years ago. I wish at the very least we were still in touch, as I really did love and care for them. What we had wasn't always good, but the good parts filled me with emotions I havent felt since then, and impressed me with experiences I'll likely never repeat. I miss them but I had to let them go. I was dependent on their love and they were avoidant. If I got too close, they pushed me away. If I went away, they reeled me back in. Sometimes anger led to more anger and hurtful things were said and done. It was unhealthy and unsustainable. But when it was good, damn it was amazing and I really want the good parts with them again. Time has made me mostly forget. But occasionally they still haunt my dreams, and what am I suppose to do about that. I'm forced to remember. It's pathetic to desire someone from the past, but I'm throwing this rant out there to get it off my chest. Hopefully I can have a good night sleep.