Normally, I'm always joyous and upbeat. My friends and family say that I always look happy, but it catches up, it catches up real fast. Every now and then I get a harsh wave of sadness that makes me feel hopeless. The day I'm posting this is one of those days. I had a lot of fun at my cousin's house, and when on my way home I saw that my friend's wanted to play a game that needed 5 people. Of course, I'm just as replaceable like a battery. I'm heading no where in life, I haven't graduated high school, I don't know what career path I want to do, I'm an incel but I don't want to be one. All I ever do is play video games and hope for the best. I want to crawl into a dark space where I can die without anyone remembering me, but at the same time I want to shine and live. I probably won't feel so down or depressed the day after I write this, I just wanted to get this off my chest.