i think im a lesbian. ive only been with men, ive been bi for awhile and tried to talk to women with no avail, everytime i have sex i need to think of women to well.. finish. i feel nothing romantic towards men, i get annoyed, irritated disgusted. but i still go back cuz its better to be disgusted than alone, the warmth of someone there is all i need i just need that to sleep. maybe thats mhy past fucking up my life again but whatever. just seems atm that i crave male validation to feel beutiful to get that dopamine to know im hot nothing to do with attraction or love. im terrible in that regard but its a curse on me i need to break. end of the day i have no fucking idea what i am or who would love me.
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