A video I saw is actually negatively affecting me holy, like why do I think my friends are actually talking bad about me and it's ALL MY FAULT TOO I KNOW IT IS I know it's my fault since I can't call or do a simple text first or I feel like my stomach is sinking into me and feel like I'm wasting time, like when I talk to them or honestly just people in general like WHY AM I LIKE THIS NO ONE ELSE IS??? I know I NEED to get better but no change has been made since I'm a lazy idiot who has been the same since I was 10 years old or not even, since 10 year old me had an excuse and that it was age but now I don't I'm still a failure and I don't even know what I'm meant to do IN GENERAL like I don't wanna be a nurse even though "it's what you should do!" like I love my mom BUT DUDE she contently tells me that like man I just want to make stories for a living BUT NO AI HAD TO FUCKING EXIST AND SO IM JUST MADE TO BE ALONE WITH NO ONE IN MY LIFE AND A FUCKING LOSER WHO TALKS TO THEMSELVES