Just feeling greif and depressed again. I work two jobs and three side gigs just to get by. I will never own a house. And it's been almsot a decade since my brother died but I still grieve him sometimes. I recovered from depression and multiple suicide attempts, i'm getting an education I'm doing everything i've been raised to believe I should, and I still don't feel happy. I know I will feel okay tomorrow. I know this feeling will pass. But occasionallly I worry I'll spiral back into the depression I worked so hard to drag myself out of. And I really don't want to do that, becasue one of these times an attempt may not fail. I'm not suicidal. I'm just afraid when I have sad moments becasue I don't want to be depressed again. Also my sleep schedule keeps re-fuck-ifying itself after I fix it and it sucks.