Last one, because there's no point in hoping for a message saying "wait, im just as messed up, let's be friends", no-one deserves my dumbass. Between Reddit, Twitter, Tumblr and even hobby sites and old ass chatrooms, if you're even slightly non-hetero with some history... There's no where you can try and hookup or find someone that can accept you're as needy as a stray dog looking food and you'll take any interaction because you're that desperate. Dating sites are a big no, so don't. Can't decide if the biggest mistake was allowing hormones to ignore red flags, or even having this side of me still exist even when I've been removed everywhere else. I cant stand being alone but there's nowhere I can go and I'm just as messed up as any other sicko you can think of. All I can ask is when its my time to die, can I stop feeling bad? Sorry for existing, all I wanted was to be cared about for something meaningful but I never got a chance and that made me so angry at everyone else. I'm done.