Im so fucking sorry. She's 9 years old and im the reason she hates herself. At least... she's said that she does. Im the one who told her I self harm. Im the one who told her about depression. Its my fault its all my fault. If I was never here she wouldnt feel like this. I know she hates me. She just doesn't show it. ITS MY FUCKING FAULT. IM SO SORRY JOCELYN. IM SO SORRY. you dont deserve this. Sure I've helped her. But does any of it matter? Ive done so much worse. She's a 9 year old. She doesn't deserve that. She doesn't deserve to know that my thighs are my own personal cutting board. She doesn't deserve to hate herself. She deserve happiness. Not to feel like no one cares about her. I care. If I didn't care I wouldnt be writing this. Im so sorry Jocelyn. Im so fucking sorry. Your a child. I can't believe myself. Im so tired. Ive made you cry countless times. Im sorry. You hate me. I hate myself. Maybe one day I can be normal. Maybe one life I can be normal. But it's not this one...