I do miss my group of friends. But only the memories at this point; I can't trust people who act so impulsively- but being stuck with other groups of people, make me yearn and wish for it back to a point. I'm extremely lonely, I'm aware I'm so lonely but man- I didn't want to be forced to be alone in this way. It's too pitiful, I can't help but pity myself but the fuck else am I supposed to do. I have a bunch of level-1 thinkers with no attempt of empathy who doomscroll so unironically, its so fucking annoying. Truly. I miss, having a group of creative friends. People who actually had hobbies, who actually enjoyed created in some way or another. Let it be music, art, writing- just about anything. It was just, lovely- a nice place of sharing of our own ideas from inspirations or trauma-writing, whatever floats. I'm sick of this meathead type group, I understand it's about putting myself out there as things won't just come my way- but I can't help but be socially anxious again. fuck