I'm tired, but I'm not. I'm confused, but I know exactly what's going on. I have to get a job, or my life fails, but I would rather die than have one. I am a contradiction, an error that was not meant to be. I'm so fucking upset at everything. I want friends, yet I hate making them, and I just honestly hate people at this point. I feel so stupid talking to people nowadays because I'm not who I used to be. I'm some mess who can't decide what response or personality I want to show that day. I want to be cool and nonchalant because it fits my vibe, but I also want to be whimsical and do silly shit. I want to get out there like the girls I see at bars. They have so many friends and do so much. They do what I dream of, but I can never achieve it. I made myself into a mold so I could take parts of people and grow, but I... just became a hollow hole of remembering and never doing anything at all. I want the world to see my anger and my pain, but I don't know how to do that. fuck this.