This feels so lame but I need someone to just talk to and people I know aren’t ever really available or want to hear me out. I feel so disgusting inside and out. No matter how much I change and grow i’m reminded of every sexual thing that’s happened to me when I didn’t know any better, when I was a child. I know I was young, but a part of me feels like I should’ve know better. But it’s not all the time it just hits me at random times. But more recently I’ve had bad news, after worse news, after horrendous news. It’s just so tiring. I’m trying my best but it feels like i’m stuck going through the motions. Sometimes I have really good times, then it flips due to the most random thing and i’m back in the space I fought so hard to get out of. I have nothing to look forward to, I’ve been homeless for almost a year now and that doesn’t help with anything. I want to get better one day, but i’m losing hope it’s ever gonna happen.