Every day gets harder for me, harder and harder is it for me to get out of bed in the morning. I'm late for work every day and I keep getting later as the weeks go by. I don't feel any purpose at work, I want purpose, I want meaning, to mean something, to FEEL something because right now i've been losing all of those feelings and no one seems to see me, to hear me, to know me. Because no one ever has. I've always felt so alone, even when I know i'm not but I am because I push anyone away who tries to help me. I want to be helped. I want to feel as if I don't have this curse. I want to feel better you know? To feel normal again, to not have this fog in my head to feel this way but I've felt it for years and i'm so tired, i'm just so tired, I don't want to die, i just want to be alone forever. To be lost, forgotten, because I feel it's what I deserve. I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I can't help or won't stop feeling that I do. I want to be happy, to be loved, to be free.