can we just disappear for the real now, where we can't escape death for the first time. the last attempts was years ago past, can I just do it again and won't fail this time? to be found when we are lost in a lifetime, where we supposed to know where to go and not to feel pressure. Is it just that I’ve been lying to hide the sorrows I’ve long kept buried—because I have no one to talk to, or because I’d rather stay silent since no one understands anyway? Where is there a place for someone like me? Someone like me who no longer knows the meaning of life. Like me, who wakes up in the morning thinking about the pile of problems, goes to sleep at night with the same problems I’ve been carrying since the beginning—can this ever end? Or will I be the first to end, before my problems do? Can I also say that I’d rather disappear completely than go through things that no one who just dreams of a peaceful life should have to experience?